10 March 2009

Gaining Commander Home Command approval to deploy on an operational mission, be it the first or successive mission, is not such a straightforward thing, Major Syd Dewes, an Army Reserve Officer posted to 3 Auckland and Northland Battalion, RNZIR, Arch Hill, Auckland.

I was looking at the computer screen, temporarily immobilized by the email. “Nominations Called For May 09 Deployment” … My heart started racing and the excitement was enveloping-even though I had not yet read where the deployment was to, it did not matter. I was, you might say, in the zone - I was ready to deploy again. In the space of a few seconds I tore off chunks from the sequence of events that played out in my mind – there was an eager bite at making necessary preparations; an excited ravenous bite for pre-deployment training; something that felt like a pensive bite for the deployment itself; and a big swallow for the eventual return home. After having gathered myself, the feeding frenzy slowed and gave way to what can only be described as a more considered chewing action-I hit the paralysis by analysis trip-wire.

‘Should I Stay or Should I Go? These words and title track by British punk rock group, the Clash, sang out in my head and started to dominate thoughts, generating waves of emotions, and turmoil-it was not so much me questioning my want to deploy but it had everything to do with – “How do I get this past the ‘Boss’ ”, and I was not thinking about the Army boss either. I found myself going around in ever tightening circles trying to figure out how to raise the prospect with Commander Home Command of me going on another mission.

I could say the Army is posting me. A blatant lie – but, if used this approach could provide the necessary whipping boy in whose direction any forthcoming outbursts from ‘Missus’ could be directed. Now that could be mighty handy but my ethos and values screamed another more dominating response.

I could say something like ‘I’ve been asked to deploy’ and await the reaction. Not perhaps the best approach because if the reaction, and a very likely one it would be too, is, ‘No you aren’t going anywhere’-I loose!

I could take the most direct route – the fait accompli-and simply say straight up, “Sweetheart, I’ve accepted a deployment …leaving in May.” Now that would get it done and dusted, surely. But experience has taught me, this would be one of those times my wife can be like Piha Beach and I best watch the waves over the next few days and even months and be prepared to be caught, repeatedly, in the rip, even after one thought it was safe to move on. This can prove very problematic. Ummm.

Another line from the song played out in my head…"If I go there will be trouble”,

I recalled a scene from the movie ‘Bravo Two Zero’ where Dinga was in the bar, four sheets to the wind, with the title song playing away in the background. It gave me an idea – tonight I’ll float the idea of me going away over a bottle, or two, of wine. I felt buoyed with the thought of progress but in a shadowed corner of my mind a little niggle rattled knowingly …"this is not going to be plain sailing by any means”, and I shut the thought away as I, somewhat distracted now, tried to continue on with my day, clearing the Inbox.

Fast forward now to the second bottle of wine. I still hadn’t figured out how to raise the subject-in amongst the chat about the near finished house redecoration work, the visit to the vet clinic, and a host of other things, I was still half a mind into trying to figure out how to let the cat out of the bag. I just had to get this over with-and out it came! “Love, I have volunteered to deploy to Timor in May for six months”. Phew. There – it was now out in the open. I braced and readied myself for the response-it was quick, direct and it was not pretty. Suffice to say the dinner engagement was over – “Anyone for dessert? Yeah right”. Being left alone to clear the table was a welcomed relief, and I lost count of the days I repeated this chore and lonesome routine. Eventually the impasse passed, but true to form, occasionally when I thought it safe to go back into the water…

There are two equally strong competing forces … the need to protect and preserve our relationship(s) and the want to demonstrate one’s readiness and commitment…

Operational deployments are now part and parcel of military life and how we communicate our next deployment with partners and family is never easy – no one rank bracket, gender, or corps, finds it any easier. When there are children, elderly parents, and/or special family occasions to be marked during one’s time away, these just add to an already difficult process to tip the scales in your favour. How our partners respond differs for a whole host of reasons. In my book this is the biggest hurdle to negotiate. Yes I am a soldier and yes I signed up to do and go where I’m told. But, my wife is not and did not. There are two equally strong competing forces at play here – the need to protect and preserve our relationship(s) and the want to demonstrate one’s readiness and commitment to the profession of arms - this can make for a difficult spot to be in and we have to find a way for them to co-exist.

In my experience what has helped in no small way getting ‘Commander Home Command’, ‘OC Rear Details’, ‘The Stay Behind Party’, ‘The Missus’, ‘The Partner’, whatever title you want to give them - sign-off to successive deployments has been the tremendous support provided by our Deployment Services Officers (DSO). The value these ladies bring to enhancing our operational effectiveness is immense and I can speak from personal experience of how through their genuine care and support they have endeared themselves to our families. I know from chats with other servicemen and women, this experience and appreciation runs wide and deep. In my case, the good service provided by our DSO’s during my last deployment has definitely helped smooth the waters for me to deploy once again. For that, I am very, very grateful.

Oh yes, and by the way, I am still awaiting formal confirmation of the May deployment and truly hope it is forthcoming because I don’t fancy the idea of having to go through the wringer, well at least not for another 12 months. Having notified Army I am ready, it is now a case of me asking ‘Am I Staying or Am I Going?’

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